Oh, Carlos.

Art.
Life.
Whatever.

This gem graced the front page of today’s New York Daily News under the headline “EAST END GALLERY OWNER CARTED OFF TO JAIL FOR SERVING DRINKS WITHOUT A LICENSE!” The tastiest bits:

— It was chaos in the Hamptons as cops crashed an A-list Memorial Day weekend gala, dragging the owner of a tony art gallery to jail for serving drinks without a license.

— “I told them I’ve been doing this since before they were born,” fumed Vered, 67. “They have some nerve.”

— There were also Polaroids of gay men in various sexual poses.

— “I said I’m not going anywhere,” said Vered, who recalled telling them she would only discuss the issue with a higher-ranking police official. “There were about eight of them with big muscles.”

— Vered was fingerprinted, photographed and handcuffed to a bench for more than two hours.

— Artsy types said it’s going to be a long hot summer in the Hamptons if the cops decide to crack the whip on wine-and-cheese parties.